Tuesday, September 16, 2014


The Joy of Sex. To feel it and experience it can be mind blowing. When the chemistry is right, sex can be truly magical. That sweet contact of skin, the exchange of fluids, the heat of passion, the alchemical seduction and the entire beauty of the sexual act can be so very powerful. I mean seriously, think about it: the sweet smell of your partner, the touch of their hair, the amazing endowment of his or her body parts. This all adds to the sexual experience. To know what your partner likes and what turns him on. To know what your partner needs and what drives her wild. And the best part of all, is knowing how far the other is willing to go and how much adventure can take place in order to enhance the sexual experience for an ultimate climax. It is a rarity that this can happen with a one-night stand or a quick fling: not never, just rare. Because in order for the chemistry between two people to ignite, there must be heat. In order to feel that fire and passion, there must be intimacy: otherwise it can be just plain old, boring sex. Many of us have had sex for the sake of having sex, just to "get our rocks off". He pulls her hair, he spanks her, he licks her, he twirls her, he deals with her properly: but maybe there is no intimate connection. She licks him, she rides him, she makes him moan, and maybe she even spanks him: but maybe there is no intimate connection here either. On the other hand, two people (or more) could come together and have great sex, and there may be a moment of intimacy that may last as long as the sex session itself. It just might end right after the climax. That is not to say that it wasn't good. It could have very well have been damn good (and much needed for that matter): but the craving may not be long lasting. 

Some cravings end after the sexual act. Some cravings last for a period of time: one month, six months, three years, ten years. Some cravings last forever. For the ones that are long lasting, there is a constant stimulation: a constant and eternally evolving fantasy that is added into the relationship that keeps the intimacy alive and well. And in this way, the sex can be exciting if your partner is worth it. Because if your partner is not worth it, you won't be willing to go through all the tests, trials and tribulations of giving birth to a more powerful, a more exciting, and a more dynamic sexual relationship. And unfortunately if your partner is not worth it, the end of the relationship will take place, or intense amounts of cheating will take place. There ends the good sex, but not forever. We can go back to having random sexual escapades with that hot guy at work or with that girl in your yoga class with the super-hot booty pants. There's no doubt about that. However, we have to be willing to save ourselves for that right partner: for the woman or man that just gets us. We have to be willing to discipline ourselves to not give away our beautiful sexual energy to any old person all the time because he or she "fits the bill". I mean I get it: sometimes you just need to be fucked properly and be done with it. However, doing it all the time can really weaken us, destroy our self-confidence, and diminish our character and well-being. But here's what we should be doing:

1. Saving Our Sexual Energy
Since time immemorial, ancient healers have always talked about the preservation of the sexual fluids and the sexual power. It is indeed possible to waste away our sexual vigor and fortitude if that energy is not directed towards one person (or persons: let's be real), and consistently. Each and every time we have sex, we mentally and physically prepare ourselves to connect with someone. Whether we are aware of it or not, our entire psyche and our entire body is attempting to connect to another person's: before the sexual act and during the sexual act. If that connection does not take place precisely, it is possible that our entire energy and sexual power can be wasted, and the orgasm rendered flavorless. So, is it important to test the waters and make sure the sex is good with your potential partner? Yes. It better be damn good. Fuck that. But, should you be using your sexual energy on random people because you're good in bed and because you're easily turned on? No. You gotta learn how to control that and discipline yourself. In all honesty, if you have to choose between multiple partners or masturbating, break out the toys and put your hands to work. Save your sexual energy for that really really good one. Otherwise, you will diminish your ability to continually have good sex. And as an end result, you will weaken your entire immune system: we don't want that.

2. Fantasizing About The Possibilities With One Person
A one person fantasy? For some of you out there, this might sound relatively boring. However, to have that one person in your life that truly gets you psychologically, spiritually, and sexually, it can make for amazingly powerful and life-changing sexual experiences. Again, not to say that this is impossible with the flings, flames, and one-night stands, but it's rare. You deserve to have amazing sex of endless possibilities with that one person you've always dreamed of. You deserve to have amazingly powerful sexual adventures with the person you are madly in love with because they are good people: and because they make you horny and always leave you craving for more. Yes. You definitely deserve that. Never do you have to settle for random poetic affairs akin to that of a Woody Allen movie. You can have it all with one person. But you have to believe and know that it is truly possible to have that undying sexual fantasy with that one person. And once your needs are filled in the bedroom, endless possibilities exists not only in the relationship itself, but also in our personal and business lives. And, that is because you are not constantly thinking about good sex, bad sex, more sex, etc. You have what you need. Gentle or rough, you are well taken care of. Imagine that. 

3. Building Our Confidence To Keep Our Partner Satiated
Let's face it. At some point or another, some of us have had insecurities about our sexual abilities. Besides if you don't doubt your sexual ability at some point, you can't learn how to be a better lover and evolve: for your mate and for yourself. Some women and men claim that they just prefer that their lover know exactly what to do in the bedroom. And while that is a sweet feeling, that gets old really quickly. It is amazing to have a lover that knows how to handle you sexually, but it is even more amazingly beautiful when you and your lover can explore, play and "walk the line" with the sexual journey together. When you are willing to learn more about sex with your mate, you are able to better satisfy them and enhance the sexual exploration. When you are able to openly communicate about sex and all of its intricate details with each other, the possibility exists to not only have a sexual partner for life, but also to have a sense of confidence when it comes to making love, fucking, and all sorts of other intimate play with your love. Sex must be communicated. Some are better at it than others: but we can only get better with practice and trying to be better everyday. It is when we decide not to practice building that sexual confidence with our lover, that we become insecure and doubtful. It is when we decide not to practice building sexual conversation with our lover, that we go on cheating and having lustful and emotional affairs. "Baby, I love this: give me more." "Baby, my body is not enjoying this: it feels awkward." A dialogue such as this--at some level--must be adopted. This is intimacy. I personally have had moments where this sort of dialogue appears in a short-term relationship or a fling, but again, it is extremely rare. It requires a deep-seated intimate chemistry, and that is oftentimes rooted in passion and heat which is in essence rooted in a foundation of ongoing seduction between two people. It takes work to attain that sort of vibration with your mate. That's why most people turn to the short-term relationship or the quick "bang me up". However, it's worth saving your body for that beautifully confident and intimate sex.  

So have your sex. Just make sure it's worth your time and energy. If it's not, save your body for that true intimacy. Heck, I would. 

Oh yea. By the way. Use protection.

Happy Trails.
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